Loony Luna Day #38

At  a recent computer expo, Bill Gates  reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated,

'If  GM had kept up with technology like the computer  industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon..'

In  response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:

If  GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we  would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:


1..  For no reason whatsoever, your car would  crash........Twice a day.

2..  Every time they repainted the lines in the road,  you would have to buy a new  car.

3..  Occasionally your car would die on the freeway  for no reason.  You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut  off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue.  For some reason you  would simply accept this. 

4..  Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre, such as a  left turn, would cause your car to shut down and  refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5..  Macintosh would make a car that was powered by  the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and  twice as easy to drive - but would run on only  five percent of the roads.

6.  The oil, water temperature, and alternator  warning lights would all be replaced by a single  'This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation'  warning light.

7..  The airbag system would ask 'Are you sure?'  before deploying.

8.  Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in  until you simultaneously lifted the door handle,  turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio  antenna.

9.  Every time a new car was introduced car buyers  would have to learn how to drive all over again  because none of the controls would operate in  the same manner as the old car.   

10.  You'd have to press the 'Start' button to turn  the engine off.

11. When all else fails, you could call 'customer service' in some foreign  country and be instructed in some foreign language how to fix your car yourself!