Thursday, July 1, 2010

Happy Canada Day!

Happy Canada Day Everyone! :)

For those of you outside Canada, HERE is some info on what Canada Day is all about.

Now for something a tad amusing:

You Know You're Canadian if...  
You know Toronto is not a province
You get milk in plastic bags
You don't buy maple syrup at the airport
You go to Niagara Falls and scoff at how pathetic the American Falls are
You've plugged a car in overnight
You design your kid's Hallowe'en costume to fit over a snowsuit
Driving is better in the winter because then the potholes are filled with snow
You can play road hockey on skates
Your municipality buys a Zamboni before it buys a bus
Teenagers can legally drink
You only burn your bra when you're out of wood
You measure distance in hours
You yell "Patio Weather!" when the temperature rises to 0.
You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.
There are seven empty cars running in the parking lot of your neighbourhood Tim Horton's at any given time.
Summertime is when you switch your toque for a ballcap (with a Canadian beer logo on it)
You have a bumper sticker that says "If you're Canadian show me your Beaver"
You own an ice auger
You have a "good" parka for formal occassions
The trunk of your car has doubled as a deep freeze
You have more than $20 in Canadian Tire money
You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car
You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
The major parish fund-raiser isn't bingo it's sausage making.
You find -40C a little chilly.
You can play road hockey on skates.
You know 4 seasons: Winter, Still Winter, Almost Winter, and Construction.
You understand the Labatt Blue commercials.

Cold is relative...
The Temperature Conversion Guide (degrees are in Fahrenheit):

50 above - New Yorkers turn on the heat. Canadians plant gardens.
40 above - Californians shiver uncontrollably. Canadians sunbathe.
35 above - Italian cars won't start. Canadians drive with the windows down.
32 above - Distilled water freezes. Canadian water gets thicker.
20 above - Floridians wear coats, gloves & wool hats. Canadians throw on a t-shirt.
15 above - Californians begin to evacuate the state. Canadians go swimming.
Zero - New York landlords finally turn up the heat. Canadians have the last cook-out before it gets cold.
10 below - People in Miami cease to exist. Canadians lick flag poles.
20 below - Californians fly away to Mexico. Canadians throw on a light jacket.
40 below - Hollywood disintegrates. Canadians rent videos.
60 below - Mt. St. Helens freezes. Canadian Girl Scouts begin selling cookies door to door.
80 below - Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic. Canadian Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.
100 below - Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Canadians pull down their ear flaps.
173 below - Ethyl alcohol freezes. Canadians get frustrated when they can't thaw their kegs.
297 below - Microbial life survives on dairy products. Canadian cows complain of farmers with cold hands.
460 below - ALL atomic motion stops. Canadians start saying "Cold 'nuff for ya?"
500 below - Hell freezes over. The Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup

Enjoy Canada Day if you're Canadian or have a great Thursday, if you're not! :)

7 comments:

  1. Hahahahaha, hilarious! See -- it's not impossible for the Leafs to win the Cup! Happy Canada Day!

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  2. Great aren't they? Glad you enjoyed them.

    Thanks for dropping in today, Debbie! :)

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  3. Thanks for this love! Mike and I had a good giggle on most of these. :)

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  4. You are most welcome, Pam. I'm glad you both enjoyed them.

    Thanks for taking the time to drop in and comment. :)

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  5. AHAHAHHAHAHA! I laughed so hard when i read this. You are awesome : )

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  6. Loved this so much i put a link up on my blog - hope you don't mind?!

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  7. Hi Gillian,

    Glad you liked it and more than happy for you to put a link to it. :)

    Thanks for dropping by and Happy Canada Day! :)

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